Restless

I tend to be a very emotional person. If you know me personally, you know this to be true. I feel things very deeply, and it is both a blessing and sometimes a curse. 

So, you can probably imagine how I reacted the other day when my dad sent me a song that he said reminded him of me leaving. It’s called “This is Not Goodbye” by Sidewalk Prophets, and if you feel like sobbing your face off like I did, I will link it here. 

However, I am not sharing this song with all of you so I can talk about how emotional I have been leading up to my leaving for Georgia. That was what my last post was about. Regardless of how the song made me feel, there is something about it that caught my attention. 

In fact, it was the very first line. 

“I can see it in your eyes that you are restless”

Restless had not been a word that I had used to describe myself before, but the minute I heard it I knew it described me perfectly. If you Google the meaning, it is defined as “unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom.”

Anxiety or boredom? Try both. 

It’s funny that my dad was the one who sent me this song. For those of you who don’t know, my dad has been with me on two different mission trips to Haiti. He has seen my love for missions and the world and God’s people firsthand, so it makes sense that he would notice my restlessness. It has been well over a year since my last mission trip, and especially after being in quarantine all of those months, I am READY to get out of here. 

But I am also very anxious about leaving. So I guess now if you look up the definition of restless it would say “Abby right before moving to Georgia for the first part of her gap year.” 🙂 

I can’t really say that I know where I’m going with all of this, but I think that’s okay. God does. And He is so faithful to work in us and through us even in the restlessness. Even when we don’t always know what to say. 

So here’s to being nervous yet excited and confused yet understood. 

I hope you have enjoyed this glimpse into my heart today 🙂